Great Is Thy Faithfulness (even when I am not)

Exodus 16:2, 3 & 7 (Entry date 2/2/10)

“In the desert, the whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron. The Israelites said to them “If only we had died by the Lord’s hand in Egypt!  There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this dessert to starve to death.”  7 “…in the morning you will see the glory of the Lord, because He has heard your grumblings against Him.  Who are we that you should grumble against us?”

Time, after time, after time the people of Israel witnessed miraculous things from the hand of God – the plagues in Egypt (they were spared), the parting of the Red Sea (the Egyptian army drowned after the children of Israel crossed safely), the bitter waters at Marah turned sweet, the pillar of cloud that led them by day and pillar of fire that gave them light and no doubt comfort by night  Still, they quickly forgot God’s goodness toward them and murmured that they would be better off dead than trusting the provision of the Lord.  They even attribute the miracles they witnessed to Moses instead of God and grumbled against him too.

It’s easy to read about these ancient Israelites and think how short-sighted and ungrateful they were.  But do I treat God similarly when I worry and stress over concerns in my life?  Do I so quickly forget His amazing provision, His loving kindness, His gentle care that I have experienced again and again?

I think the people of Israel couldn’t connect their deliverance, constant protection and provision to God because they neglected their fellowship with Him, caught up as they were in the discomfort of their journey.  I can’t be sure of this, but it makes sense to me.  Otherwise, they would have known His heart toward them and been so grateful as to praise Him rather than murmur and grumble against Him.

The times in my life I am most aware of God’s care for me are unquestionably when I go full-immersion into His Word, when I purposefully make time in my day to meet with him in intentional prayer and meditation.  It’s during those times I sense this little warm buzz of His Spirit upon me and It brings to my mind and heart all of His goodness toward me, His amazing, undeserved love for me and His unfathomable sacrifice for me.  Even if the details of my life are not at their best, joy is there.  I am content, less fearful, less inclined to fight for control of life’s minutia.  Oh how that minutia is exhausting, isn’t it?  Just thinking about how released I feel when I surrender to Him makes me take a deep, soul-cleansing breath and then blow out all of that gray, emotional smog that chokes my spirit and blurs the eyes of my heart so that I can’t see the truth of my freedom.

Why am I so inclined to pass on this unimaginable treasure?    To think that I have the ear of the Creator of all the universe, the One who has the power to give life and take it away, to heal, to rescue, to redeem, to set free from any form of bondage, to give eternal life.   And so often I just say, ‘No thanks, Lord, not today.”  And when my orderly life begins to feel chaotic I wonder why it takes me so long to hand it over to Him.  Out of sight, out of mind.  How shameful of me.

So when I read the Old Testament accounts of the unfaithfulness of God’s people I’m not so quick to judge anymore.  I see a reflection of my own short-sighted, ungrateful soul.  And I wait for Him to restore that sweet and tender closeness He so willingly gives me when I come into His presence with all that burdens me.  And I listen.  And I feel that warm little buzz in my spirit..